Adapting Your Home for an Older Parent with Dementia: Safety and Accessibility Considerations

Welcome to Mom Under My Roof, where I share my journey of caring for my mom, who has dementia. Most of us are familiar with dementia and its effects on individuals. However, living with a loved one who has dementia adds a deeper understanding of the complexities that can either make the situation more manageable or more demanding. In my case, besides dealing with dementia, my loved one faced mobility challenges and had a high risk of falling.

Family and professionals tried to persuade me to keep Mom in the facility where she was residing. I was told that it's too expensive to prepare my home and get all the necessary equipment. I was quoted $3000.00 for a hospital bed on top of estimating future needs to be $10,000.00. It sure sounded scary, especially because keeping Mom at home meant that I could not work as many hours as I was used to.

I had to resort to unconventional thinking out of sheer necessity and found ways to prepare my home unbelievably at low costs which I would like to share with you. For starters, I checked Facebook Marketplace and Kijiji for used equipment. I was able to find a clean hospital bed with all the basic functions for $400.00, which included a hospital mattress. I added safety rails and a bed alarm that I ordered from Walmart for $150.00.

Another low-cost and very effective change was adding lighting. I cannot stress enough how proper lighting is crucial for several reasons. The first is visual. Darker spots pose a significant risk as older individuals often have poor eyesight and may lack cognitive awareness of their environment. The second reason is that people with dementia tend to suffer from the Sundowning effect, a condition that can make them confused, agitated, and experience hallucinations. Sundowning is usually triggered by low lighting as dusk approaches. Just by observing Mom's facial expression, I can tell she is about to experience Sundowning. Her forehead and eyes scrunch up, grimacing; her gaze wanders as if she is attempting to grasp her surroundings. Adding more lights around the house significantly helped reduce her confusion and anxiety, and lighting up darker areas helped reduce the risk of falls.

I also took steps to remove obstacles and hazards in the house. I made sure to keep only sturdy and stable furniture and remove loose carpets and items with sharp corners or use corner protectors. In the kitchen, I removed stove knobs when not in use to prevent accidents. Also, bathrooms are notorious for falls, so I installed grab bars and non-slip mats, added an elevated toilet/commode seat for easier transfers, and adjusted the water temperature in the water heater to prevent scalding.

As mom’s dementia progressed and her mobility became worse, I could no longer leave her home alone. I didn’t want to call a Professional Support Worker every time I needed to shopping or walk my dogs for an hour. So, I installed Amazon Alexa in her room. Amazon Alexa has a “drop-in” function, which allows you to listen and communicate with the person in that room. This became a perfect solution to ensure mom was relaxed and safe and if she was becoming anxious, I was able to talk her down while I was making my way back home and that you will communicate with and listen to them so they don’t feel alone. Amazon Alexa also answers mom when she has questions like “What time is it?” and plays music when mom says, “Play music.”

Another aspect of dementia caused by confusion is the desire to "go home," which can lead to your loved one leaving the house and potentially getting lost or injured. To prevent Mom from opening the exterior door, I installed reinforcement locks which I bought on Amazon for $17.99. Even though Mom knew how to open the door lock, she didn’t realize the additional lock at the bottom of the frame that prevented the door from opening.

To make mom more emotionally comfortable, I made an area of my home just for her. It hung lots and lots of pictures of her loved ones. I put a cabinet with all her personal belongings she cared about. Even though Mom is not capable of managing finances or making purchases, she very often asks, “Where is my VISA?” or complains that she does not know where all her important documents are. She calmed soon as I pointed to that cabinet and said, “Mom, nothing is lost. All your stuff is over there”

Every person with dementia has unique needs, so it's crucial to tailor the home environment accordingly. I regularly reassess our living space as my mom's condition progresses, and by creating a safer and more comfortable home as a caregiver, I have faced many challenges, but I have also experienced moments of joy and connection with my mom. Through my blog, I aim to offer support and guidance to others who may be going through a similar situation. Family relationships are at the core of my story, and I believe in the power of resilience in the face of adversity. Join me as I navigate the ups and downs of caregiving and find strength in the love and bond with my mom.