Should you care for your parent who has dementia at home?

Firstly, it depends on where your parent's dementia is at. It's a very wide continuum. Sometimes, we can get used to a situation or capacity level and we don't realize our parents have declined until it hits us by surprise.

Care facilities can never give your parent the attention you do and, more importantly, the sense of safety and connection that will keep them present for longer. Living with you can have a positive impact on their emotional well-being, reducing anxiety and confusion frequently experienced by those with dementia. However, it's important to consider whether you have the necessary resources, such as time, space, and emotional resilience, to provide the level of care your loved one requires without getting overwhelmed.

The next factor to consider is the level of expertise. Professionals understand the disease progression, appropriate coping strategies, and effective communication techniques. Lacking experience or knowledge in providing dementia care and opting for a facility might provide your loved one with the specialized care they need will keep them safe and fed. However, a care facility cannot combat loneliness, despair, and isolation. I would argue that love and caring are the most important items of the care plan. If you love, you learn.

Financial considerations are also crucial. Nursing facilities can be quite expensive, depending on the level of care required and the location. Costs can be a factor. Here in Canada, the lowest cost of a government facility is $2400.00 a month. Are you able to use this amount to modify your living space to accommodate their needs, hire in-home caregivers, or interrupt your work schedule to provide care?

Living with and caring for a parent with dementia can be a demanding and isolating experience. Consider whether you have access to a support network, such as friends, family, or caregiver groups, who can offer guidance, respite care, or emotional support. Exercising, meditation, and living healthy are crucial when building self-resilience and patience.

Ultimately, the decision on whether to move a parent with dementia to a care facility or have them live with you should be based on the specific circumstances of your loved one's care needs and your capabilities. Each choice comes with its own pros and cons, and there is no universal solution. Input from medical professionals, social workers, and family members can offer valuable insights to help you make an informed decision. Ultimately, the responsibility lies with you—it's your call.

Caring for aging parents at home is a cherished tradition that has dwindled in today's society. Current norms often push families to opt for facilities, overlooking the advantages of keeping elders at home. This age-old practice reflects the love and reverence families hold for their seniors, a custom deserving of recognition and promotion in the contemporary world. Maintaining our elders at home fosters a more intimate and affectionate setting, a practice worthy of celebration and support.

Whatever decision you make, do it with love.